Aquaman is Black Panther Done Right.

Not the Aquaman we’re talking about but I really wanted to include this picture.

After the unfortunate passing of Chadwick Boseman in August, the future of the Black Panther series (which currently only consists of a single movie and a few cameos) was thrown into question. Disney’s inclusivity cash-grab turned out far more successful than Disney thought and it appears that had the late actor not succumbed to his illness he would’ve been a mainstay in the Marvel movies for years to come.

But, I’m not writing this to tell you why a movie following the trends made a ton of money at the box-office. Or why skin-color has nothing to do with who little kids want to dress as for Halloween. I’m here to tell you that Aquaman is functionally identical to Black Panther as a film and succeeds everywhere that BP failed.

But let me get this out of the way first -I’m not playing favorites here.

Marvel’s films have long been on the decline, quality-wise. And while they consistently make money, I think we all know that mass market appeal makes for good profits, but mediocre art.

Where do you fall on my mean chart, kids?

I made that chart as a goof about a week before Boseman’s death, and it felt a little mean to post it after the fact, so I’ve held onto it until now. But in spite of it being a joke, it’s also more or less how I feel. These movies have had their time in the sun, but the samey-formulas begin to wear thin after so long. But they’ve been making these for over ten years, so I don’t feel too bad. Unus Annus. All things must come to an end, eventually.

But I digress. I’m here to talk about another Marvel vs DC duel. And this time, DC has the upper hand. In my review of Wonder Woman I spent a good portion of the time explaining that the film is almost a shot-for-shot remake of the first Captain America film, which came out years earlier. And It appears the same kind of thing is going on here, but with one key difference. Aquaman is largely a better movie than BP.

But first let’s look at what makes them so similar.

The Comparison

The main conflict is a pretender to the throne situation. In BP it’s Kilmonger (subtlety) trying to steal the throne of Wakanda and then use the superior technology of Wakanda to takeover/enslave the existing world.

In Aquaman, the conflict is largely the same except the roles of the pretender and the king are reversed. Aquaman is the outsider and has no interest in ruling, whereas Ocean Master is true heir to the throne and only must face Aquaman when Amber heard drags him into the situation more or less against his will.

Additionally, both movies see their villain wish to use the superior, almost alien technology of the secret country against the outside world for revenge. In Aquaman, it’s Atlantis, instead of Wakanda. Same words, different verse. For BP its because of slavery or something, for Aquaman it’s pollution.

Step right up and watch the two rubber-men bash each other in what looks like a Playstation commercial!

Aquaman’s fight scenes are far superior. More weight, better choreography, better SFX and VFX, and better lighting!

Both films have a ‘badass’ female sidekick, and face an enemy who is adopting the use of the super-powered weaponry to use against the Hero. BP has Kilmonger(again) with the comically lazy “White Panther” suit. And Aquaman has Black Manta, who, coincidentally is also black. There’s nothing wrong here, but it does follow in the questionable tradition of naming black super heroes after black things. Black Panther, ahem (subtlety).

Lastly, both films are largely dependent on their effects. This isn’t a bad thing, they are super-hero movies after all, but both to carry the action and to generate the creatures and vistas of these long-hidden secret countries Marvel and DC spent hundreds of millions on CGI.

Actually the action and FX are really what inspired me to write this piece in the first place. At no point while I was watching Black Panther was I having a good time. The action scenes were weightless, cartoony, and lacked the excitement that Marvel’s action films normally have in droves. Comparatively, while Aquaman’s action was also cartoony, it was far more visceral and weighty. The best scene of the film is a chase through a Sicilian village on rooftops and through bell towers, and the entire scene is filled with roof tiles exploding, and lasers flying. It’s really fun.

As I said above, much of Black Panther’s action scenes feel like video game cutscenes. Just polygons smashing into one another. What choreography there was is completely sabotaged by the unrealistic designs of the sets and the fact that both Black Panther himself, and Kilmonger are rendered in what appears to be unfinished VFX.

yuck

I think that the reason BP saw so much success and Aquaman, while quite successful in its own right, didn’t see the same level of acclaim, was the simply fact that people didn’t want a POC super hero. They specifically wanted a black super hero. I’d say that the reason I don’t understand was because I’m not black, but BP didn’t succeed because every black person in the world saw it. It was a cultural phenomenon for the months after its release. People of every color saw it.

So maybe I’m just a snob, but the fact remains that sometimes even talented people (Boseman, Jordan, Marvel as a whole) can slip up. And it’s my belief that BP succeeds purely due to its timing, not due to its craftsmanship, it’s entertainment value, or its originality.

Aquaman is everything BP was and more.

Oh and Amber Heard is a pos.